14 Self Soothing Techniques That Work For Me

photo by Matt Fry

This is Part 2/2. Read Part 1 here.

1. Go outside.I know it sounds stock, but I always feel better outside. No matter how hot or cold it is outside, rain or shine, if I am pissed, I am going to stand on a balcony, sit on a veranda, take a long walk, or sometimes, it’s even enough for me to get by a window and just look out if I absolutely cannot go outside at the time. Personally, it’s the green, natural light and space that has the most effect on elevating my mood. Just seeing a very green lawn, or overgrown vines on a wall is enough to make me smile and feel giddy so it’s no surprise that being outdoors works like a charm for me.

2. Stretch. I spent about half a year learning how to put my leg behind my head because while sitting still and ‘ohmming’ does nothing to quiet my mind, being focused on mastering a physical challenge does. In between being pissed off at random life things, I’m currently working on mastering the splits. Somehow, when I stretch my limbs my mind just loosens like a relaxed muscle and I feel like a plant reaching—living but not sentient. When you have pressing responsibilities, or obligations to attend to and it feels overwhelming and it’s all just stressing you out—it can feel damn good to be a plant for 20 minutes.

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Self Soothing (Part 1 of 2)

photo by Matt Fry

Nights are usually easy for me. I stay up until my eyelids won’t, then block out and eradicate every existing sliver of light from my room before crawling under the only, thread worn comforter I ever use because I can’t sleep if so much as moonlight leaks in through half closed blinds, but the whirring of a fan, a symphony of crickets or the subtle hums of night time noises are all welcome components to my bedtime routine. On one particular night, moons ago, the routine was not so easy. Wide-eyed in pitch black, I lay awake with thoughts in knots, my body harrowed by skin hunger. I was desperate for the rise and fall of a warm chest to sync with my own deep breaths and overlay the sounds of night. It was a difficult night for sleeping, but not my first, so I dealt the way I usually did by wrapping my arms around a pillow, with my comforter pulled extra close, eyes closed, wishing for that to be enough. But, it wasn’t. I toyed with the idea of sending texts to semi-strangers like, are you sleeping? Are you busy? Is it too late, or just late enough…? In the end I sucked my thumb. Or, I guess, I tried. I rolled onto my side, shut my eyes and stuck a thumb into my mouth like I’d done for years as a child, and it was everything you’d expect. Ridiculous, of course, and hilarious as it was, I also found it quite heart-breaking that my thumb had grown as much as I had, into a large, spiny thing not worth a damn at comforting. It didn’t fit against my writhing tongue, or between my slippery teeth. It was just another useless appendage I could no longer use to save myself, much like my fingernails.

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20 Strangers Kiss For The First Time

Tatia Pilieva single handedly directed on of the most emotive Youtube videos I’ve ever watched. The premise? She asked 20 strangers to pair up and kiss each other passionately for the first time. It made me so nervous I couldn’t watch the whole thing through without pausing occasionally or, smiling like a fool.

You may follow Tatia and whatever else she may get up to on Twitter @Tatia_P.

And if this got you in the mood, some good quotes about kissing:

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Mode: Sportswear Inspired Aesthetics


The sportswear-aesthetic goes by the monikers ‘sporty chic’ and ‘sports luxe’, neither of which satisfies my own perception of the look.

The terms ‘luxe’ and ‘chic’ define the aesthetic as something innately inelegant, valid as pleasing only through being dressed up. That could be, and often is the case when pairing high end pieces with sports jerseys or baseball caps, but for me, the look is so much more than that. It’s tennis skirts and the imagery of baseball bats. Sweet, but always decidedly tough. It’s undefined by gender–neither innately feminine, nor trying to be masculine, and exists as the definitive marrying of casual comfort with effortlessly structured minimalism. And as with all inspired looks, I think it’s so much less about all the individual pieces, and more about the mood evokes. So, converse and a sundress? A mix of sporty and non-sporty, yes, but not necessarily a sportswear inspired aesthetic.

Staples of the look: mesh, stripes, tennis skirts, bomber jackets, varsity type, fitted caps, sneakers, relaxed fit, ribbed socks, iconic sports brand logos, sweats, running shorts.

For inspiration…[Continue Reading]